It’s Never Just One Thing
So much of what we support in sessions is made up of many small, interconnected pieces.
Things can feel like they’re moving quickly right now—new developments, shifting expectations, constant input from so many directions. I notice myself wanting to move in the opposite direction, toward something a bit slower and more intentional. Some days, that feels easier than others.
When Social Growth Feels Overwhelming
There was a moment in a group recently that I kept thinking about. We were talking about what it means to stay engaged in a group while also using breaks when needed. As we unpacked it together, more and more pieces came into view: noticing when a break is needed, deciding how to take it, managing what’s happening internally, considering how it might affect others, and figuring out how and when to return.
The students were struck by how complex it felt. At one point, someone said, “If there’s this much to it, how am I ever going to figure it out?”
The Hidden Complexity of Social Skills Development
Moments like that highlight something important. Even when a goal sounds clear, what we’re actually supporting is often much more layered—shifting across students, contexts, and even from one moment to the next.
This is also what makes measuring progress so challenging. We can try to simplify it or reduce it to something we can count, but that doesn’t always capture what’s really changing.
Lately, I’ve been finding myself wanting to stay with these kinds of questions a little longer. Not rushing to define success too quickly, and not moving on once we’ve skimmed the surface. Instead, returning to an idea, looking at it from different angles, and noticing how if shows up over time.
I’m beginning to see how valuable that kind of thinking is—not just in sessions, but in how we reflect on our work more broadly.
In the meantime, let’s get back to my group. The discussion shifted to how complex it is to be social!
We summarized what we knew:
You can only do what you can do.
Sometimes, it takes a long time to learn something.
Learning and changing can be super frustrating.
Cut yourself some slack – we are all in this together.
Pick one small piece to focus on and notice progress.
What Being Social Really Means
Before they left, I pointed out to them what a good discussion we had experienced together. How everyone had contributed what they honestly thought. How, even though it was a “serious” discussion, there had been shared smiles and laughter.
And that’s really what being social is about!
Reflection
Where in your work are you trying to simplify something that might actually need a bit more space to be understood?
